Welcome to my little part of the internet. I'm not a blogger, or someone who generally shares my life and thoughts with the entire world, but tomorrow I am embarking on a new adventure...one that will fundamentally change my life, and I wanted to share my journey.
I have been overweight my entire life. I was a chubby baby, a chubby kid, a fat teenager, and now an obese adult. My grandmother was obese, my mother was obese, as was my sister. I have tried to lose weight, and have failed each and every time. My struggle with my weight marginalized me from society. In our culture here in the United States, fat and obese people are either the subject of scorn and ridicule, or completely invisible. Society tells me that I am ugly, lazy, messy...I don't try hard enough to lose weight. That there is something wrong with me since I cannot "control myself." To those who don't know me, it is assumed that I have a character flaw. I'm not paranoid, and I'm not alone in society's perception of me...others who are overweight feel the same way. I consider myself an intelligent, nice, caring individual. It would be nice to be assessed by the content of my character rather than my outward appearance.
Throughout my life, despite my weight, I have managed to do the things I want to do. I have gone camping and hiking, walking and traveling. Nothing slowed me down, and I kidded myself into thinking that I could live a full-ish life even as an obese adult. Then I turned fifty and everything changed. Almost overnight I became winded after climbing the stairs. My joints began to ache, and I worried about the strain on my knees and ankles. I was tired, and generally began to feel poorly. I could not let this stand. So, after much thought and research, I decided to undergo weight loss surgery.
Make no mistake, surgery is not a quick fix, or an easy way out of being overweight. It is a major operation with serious potential consequences. The recovery includes not only overcoming the physical effects of surgery, but a fundamental change in how one eats, and especially in my relationship with food. This might be the most difficult thing I ever do.
So, tomorrow is it. The day of my surgery, and the first day of the rest of my life. Wish me luck.
